Posted by: psychedchick | February 23, 2010


Somehow my hands didn’t shake while I signed those papers but then why was I crying now? It felt like it was over. Final and for sure. I did what was best for him, I thought. I could never. I can’t. I just can’t take care of him.

So small. So fragile. I cared for him since the first day. How could I let him go? I just had to. Rational decisions are the toughest.

I sat on the chair and stared at the setting sun. And thought of the brief but oh so beautiful days that I spent with him. His first smile. The first time he opened his eyes. Memories and images of him flooded me. How do I get rid of them?

A text message telling me I have an email. That could be a distraction. I log on. This email has an attachment. A picture. Of him. With his adoptive parents. They looked nice. Rich too. He was smiling. Maybe he was happy. He was happy.

Oh wait, didn’t I ask them not to send me any updates. Damn! There must have been some goof up. Do I correct them? But then, that would mean never seeing him ever again. I had already decided that I didn’t want to be a part of his life anymore but seeing his face melted me. I never wanted to be out of his life.

Yes, keeping him with me was good for him. I have to find a way to be with him without wrecking his life.

No, I wouldn’t stalk him!



  1. it seems incomplete somehow…i mean nt d poost…but the trail of thoughts…wat does she decide…

  2. Wish there was a ‘Like’ button on this post, like Facebook. 🙂 Nicely written!

  3. There is a pain in giving something away. And that’s increased manifold in adoption cases. Nicely captured.

    Keep writing!


  4. Yep, seems like this is just the epilogue…need to read the full story… its nicely written..

  5. go on!!

  6. hmm…why was she forced to let go of him?

    • Because she was incapable of caring for him the way he should be!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: